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Artist :Adam Sandler
Title :

I'm So Wasted



[Sound of crickets. Guy walks across grass]
[Joe:] "Hey pal! How ya doin?"
[M2:] "I'm so wastedman."
[Joe:] "Yeahyou areoh ho ho!"
[M2:] "Thanks man."
[Joe:] "It's good partyhuh?"
[M2:] "Ohit's great man."
[Joe:] "Hey that's some good acidhuh?"
[M2:] "Ohkiller man."
[Joe:] "Heymy pleasure."
[M2:] "I've never been higher."
[Joe:] "Oh hoyou must be freaking out."
[M2:] "Acid's great man."
[Joe:] "It's the best."
[M2:] "Everytime I do acid manI'm so high."
[Joe:] "Yeahohyou must be flipping out right now."
[M2:] "This is the best acidman."
[Joe:] "What are you seeinman?"
[M2:] "OhIthat cloud up thereman."
[Joe:] "Whoa"
[M2:] "It's got a vein in it."
[Joe:] "Oh-Holy Cow! Really!?"
[M2:] "And it's bleeding on meman."
[Joe:] "It's bleeding on ya? Well watch out!"
[M2:] "Look at my handman."
[Joe:] "Yeah?"
[M2:] "It-It's movingbut it's not moving."
[Joe:] "It's not?"
[M2:] "It's still therebut it looks like it's moving."
[Joe:] "Heyyeah to you it is."
[M2:] "I'm so high."
[Joe:] "Yeahyou must be flipping out."
[M2:] "I'm flipping out off it."
[Joe:] "Hallucinationsman."
[M2:] "Acid..right."
[Joe:] "HeyI got some news fer ya."
[M2:] "I'm seeing stuffman."
[Joe:] "Yeahyer seeing stuff."
[M2:] "RIght."
[Joe:] "Wellthat's what happens when you take acidbut you know what?"
[M2:] "What man?"
[Joe:] "Uhhhthat really wasn't acid.
That was just a little piece of paper I ripped off of my notebook."
[Silence]

[M2:] "Wha? It's probly this weed I'm smokin'man."
[Joe:] "Ohthat weed."
[M2:] "That Thai budman."
[Joe:] "Whoa."
[M2: Laughing] "Everything's hilarious."
[Joe: Laughing] "That's funny man. Look at that guy."
[M2: Laughing] "That's funny man."
[Joe: Laughing] "Look at that guy's hat man."
[M2: Laughing] "Everything's funny to meman."
[Joe:] "Right. Heyhow man bones didya smoke? A few jointsman?"
[M2:] "I had about four."
[Joe:] "Whoathat's a lot of bones to be smokin'man."
[M2:] "The whole thing's man."
[Joe:] "Yeahyou sucked 'em down yerself."
[M2:] "Ain't that hilarious!?"
[Joe:] "You didn't wanna sharedidja?"
[M2:] "It was great stuffman."
[Joe:] "Awwyeahhey I got some news on that stuff too."
[M2:] "Hey what man?"
[Joe:] "That's the stuff I sold youright?
[M2:] "Yeahright."
[Joe:] "Yeah"
[M2:] "It's funnyman."
[Joe:] "Wellwelluh.."
[M2:] "I'm wasted off itman."
[Joe:] "Yeahwell that's good. You smoked itright?"
[M2:] "Right."
[Joe:] "Well that really wans't weed."
[Pause]
[Joe:] "No it wasn'tit was pencil shavings in a bag."
[Silence]

[Joe:] "Yeah."
[M2:] "Wellit's probably this beer.
This beer I'm drinkingman. I must be drunk off it or something.
Ya knowI had about eighteen of themman."
[Joe:] "Whoaoh really!?"
[M2:] "I'm just..wasted off 'em."
[Joe:] "That's a lot of beer for a man to drink."
[M2:] "ManI gotta pea pretty soonman."
[Joe:] "You didn't dump 'em out in the woodsdidja?"
[M2:] "No..no..no.. I drank all of them."
[Joe:] "Rightyeah. I saw you..that's good. Hey didja eat today?"
[M2:]"NoI'm on an empty stomach."
[Joe:] "Whoayou must be ..yea.. extra buzz for you."
[M2:] "..And that's why I'm so wasted off it manit's like I'm seeing thingsman."
[Joe:] "Yeahyou can hardly standman."
[M2:] "You should take my car keyscuz I can't driveman."
[Joe:] "Rightright."
[M2:] "I can barely walk."
[Joe:] "Hey manyou better open those eyes upthey're half shut."
[M2:] "There's two of youman. I can't see anymoremanI'm blind!"
[Joe:] "Right.. I got the beershuh? I'm the manright?"
[M2:] "Yeahyou are the man."
[Joe:] "Say it. Say I'm the man."
[M2:] "Yer da man!!"
[Joe:] "Okaywell that beer.."
[M2:] "Yeah?"
[Joe:] "There was no alcohol in that beer."
[Pause]
[Joe:] "That was non-alcoholic.
So..uhh..againI'm gonna have to bust you on this one.
You're lying."
[Silence]

[M2: Mumbling] "I'll be right back."
[Joe:] "Okbuddyyou go sober up."
[Walking different directionsgun goes off]
[Joe:] "Oh my God! He killed himself! He killed himself!"
[Runs over]
[Joe:] "Oh my God! You killed yerselfbuddy."
[M2:] "YeahI'm deadman."
[Joe:] "Oh myoh yer dead."
[M2:] "YeahI'm deadman."
[Joe:] "That is awefull."
[M2:] "There's a big white light and everythingman."
[Joe:] "Yeah! Well you showed us allman."
[M2:] "Oh manI'm so peaceful here man."
[Joe:] "Yeahyou see anything weirdor.."
[M2:] "My relativesmana big white lightand my grandfather's there and.."
[Joe:] "OooohI remember himhe's a good guy."
[M2:] "He's still wearing the same clothesand.."
[Joe:] "Heysay hello fer mehuh?"
[M2:] "Hey manJoe says himan."
[Joe: Chuckling] "Right."
[M2:] "It's yeah..My uncle's here and..."
[Joe:] "Right..right.. Hey I got some news for ya. This is so funny."
[M2:] "Yeah? Whatman?"
[Joe:] "Yeahyeahbefore you goup to heaven.
The gunyou killed yerself withthat's the one I sold youright?"
[M2:] "Yeah."
[Joe:] "Yeahwell that was a cap gun.
Sothere's no way you could have killed yourself."
[Pause]
[Joe:] "Yeahthat's rightok.. I'm going back to the party. Oktake care."
[Walks back]

[M2: Whimpering and crying] "I'm moving to a different town man."

[Four weeks later]

[Pouring drink]
[M2:] "Oh this beer is greatman.
This tequila is really strongman.
It's got a wormand everything in itman."
[Buffoon:] "Fuckin' shit!"
[M2:] "All being in the sunyou're even more wasted.
Fuckin' shit is rightman!
I am totally wasted nowman.
I should maybe get an umbrella or something and go in the shade."
[Buffoon:] "I know a guy who can suck his own dick."
[M2:] "YeahI know a guy who can do that too.
He's the drummer from Molly Hatchet and one night we had two cases of Southern Comfortman.
We were so wasted off it.
I'm serious man."


 



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